My Blog Is Moving...

I've moved my blog!

Although the blog posts here will remain, they have also been moved to my NEW blog at www.rexolio.com.

UPDATE YOUR BOOKMARKS! :)

The Talented Rick Cary...

Sorry, Rick... I couldn't resist. Instant Message conversations with you are something straight out of the twilight zone sometimes! You're like the crazy (but loveable) Uncle who rides into town on his motor bike once or twice a year, taking residence on the couch, occupying the fridge with his case of beer, and teaching the kids words and stories from the road that they should never, EVER hear.

rick Cary: hey you want to buy my bass boat?

rexolio: what?

rick Cary: http://anchorage.craigslist.org/boa/346187128.html

rexolio: do you offer free shipping?

rick Cary: that, unfort. is not an option

rexolio: then bug off!

rick Cary: i will throw in a case if Mil beast

rexolio: lol
rexolio: don't drink anymore, homey
rexolio: except for a nice N.A. beer here or there

rick Cary: you f**king lying sh*t
rick Cary: hahahaha

rexolio: nope... July 14th will mark a year

rick Cary: rex vs alcohol
rick Cary: winner... booze

rexolio: haha

rick Cary: can't fight it dude
rick Cary: remember those black markers on your face?
rick Cary: and all over my cushions

rexolio: sure sure

rick Cary: haha
rick Cary: well, i'm glad you are giving the liver a break

rexolio: thanks
rexolio: just something I needed to do

rick Cary: me, tho. liver is at full tilt

rexolio: to each his own, loser

rick Cary: haha

rexolio: http://twitter.com/rexolio

rick Cary: HAHAHA
rick Cary: thats classic
rick Cary: youre in GA?

rexolio: uh, yeah!

rick Cary: holy sh*t
rick Cary: carrying a bible under your arm?

rexolio: most days

rick Cary: WTF you doing there?

rexolio: dude, where have you been? I've been here for 2 1/2 years.
rexolio: Where did you think I was at?

rick Cary: well i have a free condo in Atlanta............but

rexolio: what do you mean "free condo"

rick Cary: my buddy runs back and forth to cali
rick Cary: i'm going to go in Aug
rick Cary: you in Atlanta?

rexolio: dude, you live your life in a time capsule called "Alaska" and only pop in from time to time for ridiculous banter.
rexolio: Yes, I live in Atlanta.
rexolio: NEWS FLASH

rick Cary: hahaha
rick Cary: good, get me a job you hillbilly

rexolio: doing what? driving busted up bass boats, flipping jeeps and chasing after 60 year old women?

rick Cary: hmm

rexolio: Don't think there's a profession for that. Just a lifestyle. And the market's full here, anyway

rick Cary: sales biatch
rick Cary: i'm a salesman

rexolio: what do you sell besides b.s.

rick Cary: f**k that! i will push the illegals out of the way. boomshokaloka

rexolio: There's plenty of sales jobs here

rick Cary: dude, i sell anything, other than drugs

rexolio: Check Monster. Check CareerBuilder

rick Cary: HAHA
rick Cary: web based, hell no

rexolio: Good ole boy network or nothing at all, right?

rick Cary: here's the deal
rick Cary: i pick a company. walk in talk to the owner
rick Cary: old school

rexolio: Yeah, you're classic old school alright

rick Cary: yeah!
rick Cary: f**k the 3 day wait
rick Cary: capt rick goes right in

rexolio: background check?
rexolio: Big Rick style

rick Cary: its all cool
rick Cary: non sex offender/felon

rexolio: Well bring your butt on! If you make it by Sunday, you can go to church with me.

rick Cary: hahaha
rick Cary: you gave up booze and took on church?

rexolio: you've got the order backwards, but yes, more or less

rick Cary: i hear ya buddy
rick Cary: i was in church last friday

rexolio: mass?

rick Cary: choir
rick Cary: was great

rexolio: good for you

rick Cary: i needed salvation

rexolio: you being funny?
rexolio: or just Catholic, lol

rick Cary: nah
rick Cary: even a big man like me folds

rexolio: http://rexlwhite.blogspot.com when you have time

rick Cary: will do matey

rexolio: gotta run... l8r sales dude

rick Cary: talk to you soon i hope

rexolio: most definitely

Two Years Later: I Miss You, Dad

Dad,

Two years ago tonight you passed away. I watched you go, and it was okay. It was time. I told you that everything would be alright, and although it hasn't always been easy for some of those you left behind, most everyone has come through it. Some are still healing... I guess all of us are, really. But we're making it.

Rachel got me a nice picture of you for my birthday a few days ago. She had a photo of you enlarged and set it in a nice frame. It's my favorite one of you... I think it was taken around 1978 on your way to work. Life was going great for you, and it showed on your face. There's not a picture I know where you look happier.

Any sadness I have left, Dad, is just for me and my kids. I'm sad that I can't pick up the phone to call and ask your opinion on this or that, or catch you online for a quick chat. I hate that my kids will only know you through stories and pictures. I know they would have adored you. I miss you every day... I miss just knowing you're here in the world... available to me in some way. I grieve for the adult father-son relationship that we were only beginning to embrace. The mutual respect that had started to grow. But those feelings come and go. Mostly I celebrate that you're in a better place, and that's not just a cliche for me. I really know that it's true.

When I think of you now, I think of my favorite picture of you. I know that's how you look once again - young, happy and with a great, big smile on your face. You made it... and I'm so thankful to God that you did! You're with Him and there's no better place.

As for the rest of us, we're still here and we're getting better and better each day.

Until we see each other again, I love you!

It's Been a While...

Been busy (yeah yeah, who isn't). Kids are growing like crazy.

Thinking I'm going to switch from Blogger soon because I don't like some of the limitations (can't customize meta tags, no plugins, etc.) I'd like to get back to blogging a little more. We'll see.

Blogging like Prayer (For Me, At Least)

So I haven't been blogging much. Not anything meaningful, anyway. A year ago - even a few months ago - I was blogging more often, and usually about fairly heavy stuff, like God, drinking, my job, death, etc. But not so much now.

It made me think about how I only typically blog when things aren't going so well, or my mind is filled with muck. And for myself and a LOT of other people, it's like prayer that way. We tend to only look to God when things aren't going so well. The good thing is that God wants us to look to him, talk with him and lean on him. So anytime we're able to step away from "ourselves" and do that is a good thing, even if the circumstances aren't so much. The bad thing is that we don't tend to give him credit for the good things, continue to talk to him and continue to lean on him.

I'm that way with prayer, and I'm that way with blogging. Additionally, even when things aren't go so well, I'm not as transparent in both prayer and blogging as I often give myself credit for. (Yeah, the blog-prayer parallel is beginning to seem like a strange comparison to me, too, but hey, I'm just typing what's coming out of my melon at the moment.) What I mean by that is that when things are really bad - marriage issues, deep personal issues - the last thing I do is pray and I definitely don't blog about it.

Blogging is like prayer for me sometimes in that it just gets the bad stuff out... even if no one reads it, it's not so much about that. It's just about getting the crap out of my head. I'm sure I'm not alone in that way. However, prayer is OBVIOUSLY much more important, and I don't always do that when things are really bad, either. I should. God knows anyway, so why hide it from him. And why keep it trapped inside. We torture ourselves over these deep issues - God doesn't. So why not open up to him and get it out. That one I can't answer. But as far as blogging goes, I guess it's because you truly have to wonder what some people may think when they stumble across it.

"Oh, Rex has a drinking problem? Good for him for realizing that!"

"Rex has been struggling with faith issues? Man, I am too - I can relate!"

Those kinds of things are safe - to a point. But the other stuff - the deep-seated things like marital issues, tempations, anger issues... those are a different thing all together. Who wants to be transparent with readers about that?!?!

And even with that "lighter" stuff, I don't share it with people at work. I've drawn the line there.

So, I truly haven't been and continue not to be transparent. Seeing transparency in others concerning their lives is probably one of the biggest reasons I've been able to grow in my faith. Seeing that you're not alone when it comes to certain problems, especially as MEN, has helped me tremendously. But I continue not to be. And honestly, I'll probably continue not to be with certain areas. Maybe that's good, maybe that's bad, but it's how I feel.

For my final point - this was all brought to the fore front of my mind when a conversation at work regarding blogs came up. My new boss and I were talking about blogs, and it came up that I had a blog (before I really thought about the fact that it was my personal blog.) He said, "Shoot it to me and I'll link to you."

Okay, now I'm faced with sharing my personal blog with my boss. The good thing is he's a good guy (if I decide to send you my blog address, Rusty, this is NOT a form of "kissing up", so let's put that to rest right here and now!) The job has really turned around, and I'm so blessed to have the opportunity that I have, the working environment that I now have, and the peace of mind that I now have. But depending on how much people at work find out about me, would tht change? Will they see me differently? The next time we're listening to gangster rap at work talking about "bitches" and "ho's" (yes, it comes up in the mp3 playlist from time to time) will they say to themselves, "You're a christian?"

Maybe, maybe not. I'm not perfect, that's for sure. But what's the big deal. Am I who I am or aren't I? Am I okay with who I am or aren't I? Do I have confidence in my identity in Christ or don't I?

Questions I must answer! (or maybe not.)

Manhattan - Day 4, Times Square / Broadway

Tonight I walked back to Times Square to grab some pictures since I didn't do it the other day and to grab some NY tee's for the kids. In one sense I'm not star struck with New York, but it IS cool to be on Times Square.

After that I decided to walk over to Broadway. I forgot that Broadway intersects with 7th Avenue and had already passed it, so I ended up heading off on another street where there was much less traffic, but there were a bunch of cool little restaurants. I was walking along, heading back toward 7th when out of a car, right in front of me, darted out Issac Mizrahi. He just got out of the passenger side of a Lexus, buttoned his jacked, walked across the sidewalk and stepped into a little restaurant. I didn't try to grab a photo or gawk, just kept going. It was funny though... I could have whacked the guy on the back of the head. (Probably would have only gotten a "whoosh" at his crazy hair, though.)

Back on Broadway, I headed down until I saw the Ed Sullivan Theater, home of the The Late Show with Dave Letterman. Interesting... it turns out it's just about one and a half blocks away from my hotel, but I would never have known it if I hadn't gone back out. Another interesting story... I logged on to Dave's site on Tuesday night and requested tickets. They made me choose 3 dates, so I chose Wednesday, Thursday and Monday. I'm going home on Friday, but had to be able to submit the form, and Friday was NOT an option. So I got a call today during a break, and it was a lady from the Dave Letterman Show offering me a ticket for MONDAY. OF COURSE!!!!! Next time I'll think ahead!!! That would have been cool!

Anyway... Only one more night to go - then I go HOME!!! NY has been fun, but I am long past ready to go home. I MAY get up in the morning and walk down to the Today Show, but we'll see. No promises.

MTV

I wasn't as interested in the theatres on and off Broadway as I was the enormous Hershey's shrine!
Maybe next time, Dave! I didn't plan ahead this trip!

Manhattan - Day 3, World Trade Center

During lunch, I hopped a cab to Ground Zero. Wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it was a sad and solemn experience. At first, you can't see much because the entire area is surrounded by a fencing, as they are still working and obviously still clearing out some of the old structure, which surprised me. But as you get closer, you can clearly see through the fencing and there's still pieces of the original towers - beams, rubble, some pillars, etc. All around they have the names of those who died and photos from that horrible day. It was a strange feeling, and it stirred up some of what I felt 5 years ago.

What REALLY got me, though, was when I went down 1 level and saw a collection of 200 pictures drawn and colored by sons, daughters, neices and nephews of people who died. That one got me. It still gets me when I look at the pictures below. So many lives lost, so many children affected and left to live lives without their fathers, uncles, etc. My prayers still goes out to all of them.

View behind Ground Zero, with St. Paul's churchyard.

Pictures drawn by children of 9/11 victims

Through the fencing

St. Paul's - Oldest public structure still used (in Manhattan for sure, don't know if it's the oldest public structure in use in the Country. Very cool, though.

President George Washington prayed on these steps after his Inauguration!