Rex White

My Blog Is Moving...

2007-06-22T23:10:00.000-04:00

I've moved my blog!

Although the blog posts here will remain, they have also been moved to my NEW blog at www.rexolio.com.

UPDATE YOUR BOOKMARKS! :)

The Talented Rick Cary...

2007-06-06T13:29:00.000-04:00

Sorry, Rick... I couldn't resist. Instant Message conversations with you are something straight out of the twilight zone sometimes! You're like the crazy (but loveable) Uncle who rides into town on his motor bike once or twice a year, taking residence on the couch, occupying the fridge with his case of beer, and teaching the kids words and stories from the road that they should never, EVER hear.

rick Cary: hey you want to buy my bass boat?

rexolio: what?

rick Cary: http://anchorage.craigslist.org/boa/346187128.html

rexolio: do you offer free shipping?

rick Cary: that, unfort. is not an option

rexolio: then bug off!

rick Cary: i will throw in a case if Mil beast

rexolio: lol
rexolio: don't drink anymore, homey
rexolio: except for a nice N.A. beer here or there

rick Cary: you f**king lying sh*t
rick Cary: hahahaha

rexolio: nope... July 14th will mark a year

rick Cary: rex vs alcohol
rick Cary: winner... booze

rexolio: haha

rick Cary: can't fight it dude
rick Cary: remember those black markers on your face?
rick Cary: and all over my cushions

rexolio: sure sure

rick Cary: haha
rick Cary: well, i'm glad you are giving the liver a break

rexolio: thanks
rexolio: just something I needed to do

rick Cary: me, tho. liver is at full tilt

rexolio: to each his own, loser

rick Cary: haha

rexolio: http://twitter.com/rexolio

rick Cary: HAHAHA
rick Cary: thats classic
rick Cary: youre in GA?

rexolio: uh, yeah!

rick Cary: holy sh*t
rick Cary: carrying a bible under your arm?

rexolio: most days

rick Cary: WTF you doing there?

rexolio: dude, where have you been? I've been here for 2 1/2 years.
rexolio: Where did you think I was at?

rick Cary: well i have a free condo in Atlanta............but

rexolio: what do you mean "free condo"

rick Cary: my buddy runs back and forth to cali
rick Cary: i'm going to go in Aug
rick Cary: you in Atlanta?

rexolio: dude, you live your life in a time capsule called "Alaska" and only pop in from time to time for ridiculous banter.
rexolio: Yes, I live in Atlanta.
rexolio: NEWS FLASH

rick Cary: hahaha
rick Cary: good, get me a job you hillbilly

rexolio: doing what? driving busted up bass boats, flipping jeeps and chasing after 60 year old women?

rick Cary: hmm

rexolio: Don't think there's a profession for that. Just a lifestyle. And the market's full here, anyway

rick Cary: sales biatch
rick Cary: i'm a salesman

rexolio: what do you sell besides b.s.

rick Cary: f**k that! i will push the illegals out of the way. boomshokaloka

rexolio: There's plenty of sales jobs here

rick Cary: dude, i sell anything, other than drugs

rexolio: Check Monster. Check CareerBuilder

rick Cary: HAHA
rick Cary: web based, hell no

rexolio: Good ole boy network or nothing at all, right?

rick Cary: here's the deal
rick Cary: i pick a company. walk in talk to the owner
rick Cary: old school

rexolio: Yeah, you're classic old school alright

rick Cary: yeah!
rick Cary: f**k the 3 day wait
rick Cary: capt rick goes right in

rexolio: background check?
rexolio: Big Rick style

rick Cary: its all cool
rick Cary: non sex offender/felon

rexolio: Well bring your butt on! If you make it by Sunday, you can go to church with me.

rick Cary: hahaha
rick Cary: you gave up booze and took on church?

rexolio: you've got the order backwards, but yes, more or less

rick Cary: i hear ya buddy
rick Cary: i was in church last friday

rexolio: mass?

rick Cary: choir
rick Cary: was great

rexolio: good for you

rick Cary: i needed salvation

rexolio: you being funny?
rexolio: or just Catholic, lol

rick Cary: nah
rick Cary: even a big man like me folds

rexolio: http://rexlwhite.blogspot.com when you have time

rick Cary: will do matey

rexolio: gotta run... l8r sales dude

rick Cary: talk to you soon i hope

rexolio: most definitely

Two Years Later: I Miss You, Dad

2007-06-02T23:35:00.000-04:00

Dad,

Two years ago tonight you passed away. I watched you go, and it was okay. It was time. I told you that everything would be alright, and although it hasn't always been easy for some of those you left behind, most everyone has come through it. Some are still healing... I guess all of us are, really. But we're making it.

Rachel got me a nice picture of you for my birthday a few days ago. She had a photo of you enlarged and set it in a nice frame. It's my favorite one of you... I think it was taken around 1978 on your way to work. Life was going great for you, and it showed on your face. There's not a picture I know where you look happier.

Any sadness I have left, Dad, is just for me and my kids. I'm sad that I can't pick up the phone to call and ask your opinion on this or that, or catch you online for a quick chat. I hate that my kids will only know you through stories and pictures. I know they would have adored you. I miss you every day... I miss just knowing you're here in the world... available to me in some way. I grieve for the adult father-son relationship that we were only beginning to embrace. The mutual respect that had started to grow. But those feelings come and go. Mostly I celebrate that you're in a better place, and that's not just a cliche for me. I really know that it's true.

When I think of you now, I think of my favorite picture of you. I know that's how you look once again - young, happy and with a great, big smile on your face. You made it... and I'm so thankful to God that you did! You're with Him and there's no better place.

As for the rest of us, we're still here and we're getting better and better each day.

Until we see each other again, I love you!

It's Been a While...

2007-06-01T23:17:00.000-04:00

Been busy (yeah yeah, who isn't). Kids are growing like crazy.

Thinking I'm going to switch from Blogger soon because I don't like some of the limitations (can't customize meta tags, no plugins, etc.) I'd like to get back to blogging a little more. We'll see.

Blogging like Prayer (For Me, At Least)

2007-05-05T10:34:00.000-04:00

So I haven't been blogging much. Not anything meaningful, anyway. A year ago - even a few months ago - I was blogging more often, and usually about fairly heavy stuff, like God, drinking, my job, death, etc. But not so much now.

It made me think about how I only typically blog when things aren't going so well, or my mind is filled with muck. And for myself and a LOT of other people, it's like prayer that way. We tend to only look to God when things aren't going so well. The good thing is that God wants us to look to him, talk with him and lean on him. So anytime we're able to step away from "ourselves" and do that is a good thing, even if the circumstances aren't so much. The bad thing is that we don't tend to give him credit for the good things, continue to talk to him and continue to lean on him.

I'm that way with prayer, and I'm that way with blogging. Additionally, even when things aren't go so well, I'm not as transparent in both prayer and blogging as I often give myself credit for. (Yeah, the blog-prayer parallel is beginning to seem like a strange comparison to me, too, but hey, I'm just typing what's coming out of my melon at the moment.) What I mean by that is that when things are really bad - marriage issues, deep personal issues - the last thing I do is pray and I definitely don't blog about it.

Blogging is like prayer for me sometimes in that it just gets the bad stuff out... even if no one reads it, it's not so much about that. It's just about getting the crap out of my head. I'm sure I'm not alone in that way. However, prayer is OBVIOUSLY much more important, and I don't always do that when things are really bad, either. I should. God knows anyway, so why hide it from him. And why keep it trapped inside. We torture ourselves over these deep issues - God doesn't. So why not open up to him and get it out. That one I can't answer. But as far as blogging goes, I guess it's because you truly have to wonder what some people may think when they stumble across it.

"Oh, Rex has a drinking problem? Good for him for realizing that!"

"Rex has been struggling with faith issues? Man, I am too - I can relate!"

Those kinds of things are safe - to a point. But the other stuff - the deep-seated things like marital issues, tempations, anger issues... those are a different thing all together. Who wants to be transparent with readers about that?!?!

And even with that "lighter" stuff, I don't share it with people at work. I've drawn the line there.

So, I truly haven't been and continue not to be transparent. Seeing transparency in others concerning their lives is probably one of the biggest reasons I've been able to grow in my faith. Seeing that you're not alone when it comes to certain problems, especially as MEN, has helped me tremendously. But I continue not to be. And honestly, I'll probably continue not to be with certain areas. Maybe that's good, maybe that's bad, but it's how I feel.

For my final point - this was all brought to the fore front of my mind when a conversation at work regarding blogs came up. My new boss and I were talking about blogs, and it came up that I had a blog (before I really thought about the fact that it was my personal blog.) He said, "Shoot it to me and I'll link to you."

Okay, now I'm faced with sharing my personal blog with my boss. The good thing is he's a good guy (if I decide to send you my blog address, Rusty, this is NOT a form of "kissing up", so let's put that to rest right here and now!) The job has really turned around, and I'm so blessed to have the opportunity that I have, the working environment that I now have, and the peace of mind that I now have. But depending on how much people at work find out about me, would tht change? Will they see me differently? The next time we're listening to gangster rap at work talking about "bitches" and "ho's" (yes, it comes up in the mp3 playlist from time to time) will they say to themselves, "You're a christian?"

Maybe, maybe not. I'm not perfect, that's for sure. But what's the big deal. Am I who I am or aren't I? Am I okay with who I am or aren't I? Do I have confidence in my identity in Christ or don't I?

Questions I must answer! (or maybe not.)

Manhattan - Day 4, Times Square / Broadway

2007-04-12T20:06:00.000-04:00

Tonight I walked back to Times Square to grab some pictures since I didn't do it the other day and to grab some NY tee's for the kids. In one sense I'm not star struck with New York, but it IS cool to be on Times Square.

After that I decided to walk over to Broadway. I forgot that Broadway intersects with 7th Avenue and had already passed it, so I ended up heading off on another street where there was much less traffic, but there were a bunch of cool little restaurants. I was walking along, heading back toward 7th when out of a car, right in front of me, darted out Issac Mizrahi. He just got out of the passenger side of a Lexus, buttoned his jacked, walked across the sidewalk and stepped into a little restaurant. I didn't try to grab a photo or gawk, just kept going. It was funny though... I could have whacked the guy on the back of the head. (Probably would have only gotten a "whoosh" at his crazy hair, though.)

Back on Broadway, I headed down until I saw the Ed Sullivan Theater, home of the The Late Show with Dave Letterman. Interesting... it turns out it's just about one and a half blocks away from my hotel, but I would never have known it if I hadn't gone back out. Another interesting story... I logged on to Dave's site on Tuesday night and requested tickets. They made me choose 3 dates, so I chose Wednesday, Thursday and Monday. I'm going home on Friday, but had to be able to submit the form, and Friday was NOT an option. So I got a call today during a break, and it was a lady from the Dave Letterman Show offering me a ticket for MONDAY. OF COURSE!!!!! Next time I'll think ahead!!! That would have been cool!

Anyway... Only one more night to go - then I go HOME!!! NY has been fun, but I am long past ready to go home. I MAY get up in the morning and walk down to the Today Show, but we'll see. No promises.

MTV

I wasn't as interested in the theatres on and off Broadway as I was the enormous Hershey's shrine!
Maybe next time, Dave! I didn't plan ahead this trip!

Manhattan - Day 3, World Trade Center

2007-04-11T18:26:00.000-04:00

During lunch, I hopped a cab to Ground Zero. Wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it was a sad and solemn experience. At first, you can't see much because the entire area is surrounded by a fencing, as they are still working and obviously still clearing out some of the old structure, which surprised me. But as you get closer, you can clearly see through the fencing and there's still pieces of the original towers - beams, rubble, some pillars, etc. All around they have the names of those who died and photos from that horrible day. It was a strange feeling, and it stirred up some of what I felt 5 years ago.

What REALLY got me, though, was when I went down 1 level and saw a collection of 200 pictures drawn and colored by sons, daughters, neices and nephews of people who died. That one got me. It still gets me when I look at the pictures below. So many lives lost, so many children affected and left to live lives without their fathers, uncles, etc. My prayers still goes out to all of them.

View behind Ground Zero, with St. Paul's churchyard.

Pictures drawn by children of 9/11 victims

Through the fencing

St. Paul's - Oldest public structure still used (in Manhattan for sure, don't know if it's the oldest public structure in use in the Country. Very cool, though.

President George Washington prayed on these steps after his Inauguration!

Manhattan - Day 2, Central Park

2007-04-10T20:23:00.000-04:00

Carnegie Hall

Manhattan - Day 2, Rockefeller Center

2007-04-10T18:32:00.000-04:00

Slept okay. Every 30 minutes or so the heater would start knocking, or I'd hear what sounded like a small dog inside the heater drinking water... weird! But the bed was comfy enough.

Okay, so today was all about learning more and more about Search Engine Optimization and Marketing at Search Engine Strategies Conference 2007. Good stuff!!! A little overloaded at the moment, but good stuff.

During Lunch I walked over to Rockefellar Center and took some pictures. I went to the top of 30 Rock, too. It creeped me out being that high, but was neat. See pictures below!

After my last session, I walked over to Central Park and took some pictures. It's cool, I guess. But at the same time, you realize it's just a city, it's just a building, and it's just a park. Big whoop! Nice to be able to say that I've seen it, but other that, I'd like to be home hugging my wife and kids.

I AM looking forward to getting over to ground zero, which I'll try to do before I leave.

The Rock
Saint Patrick's Cathedral
View at the top of The Rock (Central Park)

So close to the edge! Nothing but 2 inches of plexi-glass between me and a 1400 ft drop!
Empire State building in the front, Ground Zero just to the right of it (and back), and the tiny little thing standing out in the water to the right of that is Lady Liberty.
Chrysler Tower

This dang thing kept falling when I'd step on it. When you're at the top of Rockefeller, EVERYTHING should be well secured. When you're 1400 feet up, you don't want to have the feeling, however brief, that the floor is giving way underneath you!

NBC News / Today Show
NBC Rainbow Room on the left, Radio City Music Hall on the right.

Manhattan - Day 1

2007-04-09T23:24:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm here in NYC. I'm a couple blocks down from Broadway and Times Square. I walked them tonight, but did not take any pictures. Probably will tomorrow (or before I leave.)

For now, let me just say, for a whopping $249/night, the Wellington Hotel is NUTS (and I don't mean that in a good way.) I mean, its okay, but compared to what you get elsewhere, it's soooo sad. I could have stayed in other hotels (Park Central, Hilton, etc.) but those would have cost anywhere from $60 to $100 more a night. Gotta love New York.

Here's some pictures of my LOVELY room. The old heater sounds like someone below me is beating on it with a hammer every 20 minutes or so. The bulbs in the lamps next to me buzz as if they're getting a wee too much electricity. I've yet to experience the water pressure, but my imagination is just going wild with anticipation.

Husbands, Go All Out!

2007-04-02T13:34:00.000-04:00

This is really a great article a friend from a bible study forwarded to me. It's for husbands about loving your wives and children. I experience that "coming home, too tired to play, too tired to talk" feeling all too often, and I let it control me and withhold attention that my family needs (and is my responsibility to provide to them.) I'm trying to change...

Originally I just linked to the web page, but it seems like there is a technical problem with the page, so I've pasted it below. This is taken from JoyceMeyer.org.

Going All Out
by Vincent M. Newfield

"Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting.(1) …husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No [man] hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church."(2)

As men, most of us are good providers. We are willing to work long and hard to give our wives and children what they need…and more. But when it comes to personal involvement in their lives, many of us have dropped the ball. In other words, we come home from a long day’s work and because we’re exhausted, we mentally and emotionally “clock out.” As a result, we are disconnected from our family, creating a vacuum in their lives where their needs are not being met. If left unchecked, this vacuum will eventually be filled with other relationships and things that can often do more harm than good.

Thankfully, this can be reversed. If we know that we have fallen short in our commitment to our brides and our children, we can ask God to forgive us and give us His grace—supernatural strength and ability—to change.(3) Once we have gotten things right with God, we need to ask our wives and children to forgive us. A sincere, heartfelt apology is a powerful act of humility. God’s blessing rests upon it, and it can go a long way in bringing restoration to relationships that are distant or broken.

Once we’ve apologized, we need to back it up with actions. As the old saying goes, actions speak louder than words. When you and I begin to take a genuine interest in our wives and children, we will be speaking volumes to them. How can we change our actions? By changing our thinking, and changing our thinking starts with prayer. As you’re driving home, whisper a prayer to God. Say something like, “Father, I am tired, but I know that my wife and children need my time and attention. I commit myself into Your hands and ask You to help me give them the love and attention they need. Give me the grace to genuinely listen and love with my words and actions. I believe I can do everything I need to do through the strength You give me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

With God’s strength, you can develop new habits. Instead of “clocking out,” simply switch gears. Begin walking in the door with a smile and greeting your bride with a healthy hello, a hug and a kiss. Take a moment to hug your kids and ask how their day was. Other things you can do include sitting on the swing for a few minutes with your wife, throwing the ball with your son, helping your daughter with homework or rolling on the floor with your wee ones. If possible, schedule having dinner with your family a few nights a week. Conversation around the dinner table is priceless and can promote true love and togetherness. You could occasionally offer to help your wife prepare dinner or clean up the dishes afterward. Actions like these say I love you. I am interested in you. You are worth my time and attention.

When you and I do these types of things, we are planting powerful seeds of love that will bring a tremendous harvest. Remember men, when you love your wife, you are actually loving yourself. The more love you express to your wife, the healthier and happier you will be. Yes, you may have to give up some things you want to do in order to give your family what they need. But this is an investment that will pay off big time in the near and distant future. As you continue to humble yourself before the Lord, going all out for your family, God will bless you. He will restore the peace, joy and love you have longed for in your home and establish a connection with your wife and children beyond your wildest dreams!(4)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(1) Ephesians 5:25 The Message. (2) Ephesians 5:28,29 NLT. (3) See James 4:6; Hebrews 4:15,16. (4) See Ephesians 3:20.

He's ALIVE!!!

2007-03-28T16:10:00.000-04:00

Boy, have things been busy. I've been building a castle for Maryn's birthday to go in the kids' toy room. Additionally, there's been so much change going on at work. I'm transitioning into a new role, and I was out of town for a bit. And other than that, I've just not been inclined to come home and sit in front of my laptop, since I'm in front of my laptop all day as it is.

But I'm alive and well. Just coming out of a hazy patch, that's all.

Today is my son's 3rd birthday. He's such a big boy! He's talking really really well now - for a while I was worried, but probably for no reason. Compared to Maryn, he was a late bloomer. But I think its just something different between how boys and girls develop. He's my little buddy, and he just makes me laugh and smile non-stop. Today Rachel and I went to his day care with cupcakes and had lunch with him. He was so funny, but he got really sad when we left. This weekend we'll be having his and Maryn's joint birthday party. We got them both 12" bikes. Should be fun!

Maryn is really growing into a beautiful little girl. She's got this smile that just beams so big. It's the most beautiful, honest smile I've ever seen. She can, though, be a little nuts from time to time. She's so moody. It's just one of those things, I guess. But she's so smart and she really just figures things out and asks really good questions. The other day, she asked when girls get babies in their tummies. I told her after they were grown and married. She asked, "HOW do they get babies in their bellies?" I paused for a second, in shock. Then I just repeated my previous answer. Fortunately, the questioning ended there.

Well, back to work for me.

Oprah Makes Me Mad...

2007-02-27T15:12:00.001-05:00

...because she made me cry! I'm a grown man crying during an Oprah Winfrey special!

I watched the Oprah special list night which presented "The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls" in South Africa. MAN, I don't see lives like that ENOUGH.

Oprah's going to make me a wimp. I was balling like a baby. Those girls have lost so much, have so little, and yet have such hope. WE SHOULD ALL TAKE NOTE!

I'm impressed with just how much Oprah does. It's not about whether I agree with all of her beliefs or ideas - but she truly, more so than anyone I can think of, puts her money where her mouth and more importantly where her heart is.

It makes me want to do more. We should all do more, both here in the U.S. and abroad.

I believe the special comes on ABC again this coming Saturday. WATCH IT!

Amazing God, Part II

2007-02-16T16:12:00.000-05:00

Check it... right after I came out of my meeting with my boss, not even 5 minutes after, I got a call from a family member who means a great deal to me - moreso than they probably realize. I care a lot about this person, and we've had our issues with one another and I haven't always done right by him, but I can only show them my sincerity in time. It was a great conversation - he seemed to have more to say than I did. He apologized for questioning (however privately) my "path" that I've been taking the last year or so. I appreciated that so much, even though it wasn't necessary for him to apologize. And it wasn't just about me... he's looking at how he views others, too. That is simply healthy - we all could spend more time doing that very thing (me, included.)

That was the cherry on top for me. God is so faithful. I've prayed so many times for him and will continue to do so. He's such a great guy.

It's not always easy to understand why someone starts turning toward "religion." I should actually correct that... I think its easier to understand when someone starts to turn toward "religion", but not as easy to understand when someone starts turning toward a relationship with Christ. Too often those things are confused.

There's a lot of people around the world sitting in churches every Sunday who don't have a relationship with Him. They've got "religion", but not necessarily salvation. That confuses people, and I COMPLETELY understand that. It confused me for a long time, too. I appreciate anyone who can admit to me that they don't understand it, yet respects my own personal choices.

I love you, buddy - you know who you are!

Amazing God

2007-02-16T15:43:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I've been REALLY struggling with work. I've been with my company for 8 years if you include my years as a private contractor for the company. Needless to say I've put a lot of my life into this company. Needless to say I've derived a lot, if not all, of my identity from this company.

There's been times its strained my marriage because I put so much of myself into it, which left nothing for my wife. I honestly remember very little about my children's "baby days" because I was so busy with all things "work". How sad. At the same time, I feel tremendous loyalty for a company that gave me a chance, allowed me to grow, and kept a steady income for my family for so long. I look back and the only way that happened was through God, because I'm nobody.

So, this past year its been more and more evident that we must grow (our company's online presence.) We've got a strong print product but an internet counterpart that's barely in the game. I've struggled through that year with whether or not I could (or wanted to) lead the project to the next level. It's been me for so long, alone. Even when I had someone working for me, it still felt like I was having to do so much yet gaining so little ground. For years I'd asked for the money to hire more people, and people who really knew what they were doing. I had one guy who started out doing a good job, but burnt up so quickly because of the extreme demands.

At the same time during 2006, I realized that it was time that I stop deriving my identify and my value from my employer. It was time to be what God intended for me to be - follower, husband and father. Fortunately, my employer made it easy for me by realizing that we needed more than I could provide. However, they also still see value in me and respect what I've done with so few resources. So, a blessing happened - I get to keep a job with a company that I truly care about, but at the same time, I get to get out of a responsiblity that I no longer wanted and was losing passion for. In fact, they want to move me into a specialty that I've been wanting to get into. There was a lot of prayer for that by me and many people who care about me. God amazed me there.

Now, over the last couple of months, as they looked for a replacement, my pride started popping back up. I didn't realize it was happening, but it was. This last week has been torture. We had a great time at the Unicoi Marriage Retreat, but then I came back and started going down hill. The new guy starts the first of March... and I don't know what that's going to be like. Uncertainty, fear, pride, all of that mess has just really been weighing heavily on me. But still, I didn't quiet realize that that was what it was.

I had a rough day yesterday, and at one point I prayed desparately that God would reveal to me what I was holding on to so strongly. He answered me today. I even vented my frustrations to a friend via email earlier in the day, and he shot back some grade words of wisdom and prayers.

Through a few meetings, I quickly realized I was killing myself inside over this upcoming change. When I realized this, I decided to be frank with my boss about what I was feeling - the good, bad and ugly side of it (pride, ego, doubt, fear.) Man, I'm blessed to have her for a boss. She believes so much in me, and appreciates me so much. I've known that they feel that way about me, and I know that I do a good job and am loyal, but I have a hard time seeing those same qualities in myself. Its never "good enough" for me, I could always "do better". But turning that stuff over and just getting it off of my chest really helped. I'm going to be just as transparent with my soon-to-be new "boss." He's a good guy and I think he's going to be awesome. He respects me, and I think he knows it won't be easy for me.

Thank you, God, for revealing to me something I was still holding on to. I'm sure I still am a little, and I know the next few months will be difficult, as I will be agonizingly having my "old identity" ripped away from me. If I'm lucky, maybe most days I'll be handing it over freely, with fewer days where you'll have to rip it away.

In the end, I look forward to finding "Rex" underneath it all.

This Past Weekend: Unicoi

2007-02-12T17:20:00.001-05:00

Bob and Renee Mango invited Rachel and myself to a marriage retreat this past weekend in north Georgia. Bob's been mentioning it for several months, in fact, and I wasn't sure if we'd be able to go since we'd have to find someone to watch the kids for the entire weekend. However, we were blessed in the fact that Rachel's parents offered to take the kids.

The fact that Charles and Linda took the kids in the first place blows me away. Not because I didn't think they'd ever take the kids for the weekend - after all, it's their grandkids. But because, as a parent, once your kids are doing more than just sleeping, eating, and having their diapers changed, someone taking charge of your kids, no matter who it is, takes on a different meaning. They ask tons of questions, they need lots of attention, they're all over the place running, climbing, jumping, falling, crying, etc. They're hungry every 30 minutes or so, need something to drink every 15 minutes. I'm talking about the kids, of course - not the adults watching them.

Another thing about that - its hard to think of your kids building memories, experiencing things, without Mommy and Daddy around. Watching their faces, listening to their laughter. That's just hard to imagine.

It was difficult after we dropped them off. But they were SO excited. Charles and Linda loaded them up in the truck and took off to get hay to feed the horses and the goats. Then they fed the animals. Then the next day Papabear and Grandmama took them to the Aquarium in Chattanooga. They took them to church on Sunday and then to visit Aunt Dorothy. They had a blast. At one point on Saturday I called to check up on them and was talking to Charles and I could just hear Linda in the background chatting with the kids. It's so strange... But we were so excited at that point that the 4 of them were building their own relationship. Rachel and I can't control that... Its between them. And we were just so blessed and filled with such a joy about our kids hanging out with the grandparents. The kids were still talking about it last night.

It's a great experience, and we're still smiling thinking about it.

As far as the marriage retreat - WOW! Unfortunately, its just so hard to describe. The retreat has been going on for 20 years, and is hosted at Unicoi State Park by CBMC. There was about 50 couples. We listened to testimonies of other Christian couples, we listened to great music, played games, watched skits... It was just great. We met some wonderful people. The amazing thing is to see so many other couples who struggle with the same issues that we do, regardless of their stature, class, race or how long they've been married.

It was also wonderful to learn more about how God expects us to be... That in itself was a blessing. Rachel and I really came to some realizations about ourselves. We have a lot of work to do, but it's a relief to have some idea as to what we need to do, or what needs to be worked on.

I love my wife. I want to work on whatever I have to to make sure she knows that, to lead my family, to raise our kids, and to be help others.

I'm so appreciative to Bob and Renee, Bill and Judi Hill, Terry and Chris Colwell, Dave and Alaine Edmundson, Jack and Kathleen Parsons and so many others.

My big take away personally above and beyond the focus on marriage was that I'm ready to stop being quiet or afraid about the fact that I'm a Christian. That's not to say that I'm throwing on a white shirt, black pants and a back pack and going door to door, but I still choose to keep it to myself for the most part. But I want to grow more and learn more and share more. I want to live up to the name of the One who has saved me.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean NOT on your OWN understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and HE will make your paths straight."

That is so true... I'm blessed to have my wife, my family and the people God has put into our lives.

Prince's Halftime Show Scrutinized

2007-02-07T10:30:00.001-05:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070207/ap_en_ce/prince_super_bowl

Good grief, people... HE WAS PLAYING A GUITAR! And from what I saw, there wasn't any hip thrusting in this particular "pose".

People really need to get a life... if you're upset that it wasn't that great of a halftime show, that's one thing. How about that cover of "Best of You" by Foo Fighters!!! I thought that was cool, but outside of that, it was just "okay".

Move on!

So Much Going On, But It's Worth It I Guess

2007-01-17T09:22:00.000-05:00

Boy oh boy, does life ever slow down?

I used to complain a lot about everyone around me whining about being "too busy" to do this or "too busy" to do that. I'm eating my words, and it's a little sad. Not because of the fact that eating your words is a lot like swallowing your food and then barfing it back up (nice, huh) but because the busier you are, the faster the time goes by, and the faster the time goes by, the more it seems you haven't been able to enjoy it as much and/or you have the regret like you've been focusing on the wrong things. And that regret is a slippery slope. I feel like my dad spent too much time on that slippery slope while he was alive, and I strive to avoid it.

However, reality is reality. You can't help but stop sometimes and think to yourself, "What the heck am I missing" or "What the heck should I be doing instead?" John Mellencamp has a GREAT song (and I just happen to be listening to it as I write) called "Check It Out" that is really about this subject - about doing all the things that adults are supposed to do, and realizing that "it's all we've learned about living."

On the whole, I feel good about the busyness in our life (mine and Rae's.) It's all positive, we just have to get accustomed to the schedule and make sure we don't stay on the treadmill at full speed for the rest of our lives.

Currently our schedule includes:
Weights or cardio 6 days a week; 2 evenings a week I meet w/ 2 different guys from church; 1 night a week Rachel meets w/ a friend from church; 1 night a week we both have a Crown study; 1 morning each week I meet with another friend from church; I have classes and have to fit homework and reading in somewhere; Work, of course; Kids, of course; Church; typical chores, etc.; 24 on Monday night, baby!

That may not seem to bad, but its quite hectic. Sometimes I start to panic a bit, but I have to remember to keep my cool and not put too much pressure on myself to get through it all, but instead to trust in God to lead me through it (Proverbs 3: 5 - 6.)

I just don't want to become someone who missed so much of my kids or lost touch with my wife, or was too busy rushing them off to bed or off to school so I could hurry along to my next "Self-Improvement" task. I think the real challenge is to make sure that the times that can be devoted just to the kids are just that - time for the kids. And furthermore, that I don't let the rest of it make me too tired for those times that can belong to the kids and Rachel. In time, as my health improves and my energy increases, I doubt this will be as much of a problem as it is now.

Anyway, just venting. I'm quite happy with my life... just taking a moment to evaluate and double check myself.

Drive Free and Retire Rich

2007-01-11T13:17:00.000-05:00

If you've never heard of Dave Ramsey, you've probably bought/financed a car - in fact, you probably are financing one now. You HAVE to see this: http://www.daveramsey.com/etc/lms/drive_free/player.cfm

Long Time, No Write

2006-12-26T14:09:00.000-05:00

Well, its been a while since I logged anything noteworthy, and there's certainly been plenty of stuff going on. I'm home today because my son has pneumonia and a bi-lateral ear infection, so I've got some time...

HOLIDAYS
First, the holidays have been good, although challenging. Both Rachel and Dylan have been sick since the Friday before Christmas. Dylan was spiking fevers left and right and Rachel just felt horrible w/ body aches and an overall "weird" feeling. I was probably a bit of a jerk on Saturday realizing that everyone was still sick and I was going to have to do everything (poor, poor me, right!) I got over it by Sunday. :) It wasn't that bad, really. Rachel did her best to put on a smiley face and Dylan was so funny in between his fever spikes - there was such a drastic difference in his mood from one hour to the next. We managed to squeeze in some cookie-making, some cocoa-drinking and Polar Express-watching, and enjoyed time together, even though we had to cancel some plans w/ family for fear that Rachel or Dylan were contagious.

WORK
On the career front, that's been taking a lot of my mental energy. There's a lot of focus on my department for next year. The higher-ups really want to see growth and their investing a lot of capital into my dept. However, I've reached this point when I feel like I don't want to (and a little of "I can't") carry that responsibility. I would do my best and as I've always done I'd figure things out as I went, but I really wasn't interested in programming, site architecture, project management, and management in general any longer. I've been struggling w/ that for a while, and with the added pressure of next years goals, it was killing me. I've spent a lot of time praying on this subject. Additionally, I've been wanting to concentrate more on a specific area, related to website management, but just one area rather than 10. With so much on my plate, I can never spend the needed time reading, studying and doing research on that one area, so it seemed like it would never happen. I didn't want to leave the company because I really care about its success, but felt stuck in a rut. That was another thing I was praying on.

A couple of weeks ago the president of our company took me out to lunch to let me know that they feel its time for someone else to take charge of the site. Someone w/ a little more experience and who had a proven track record. Furthermore, they didn't want me to go anywhere, rather, they want to move me into a specialty - which is the ONE AREA I've been wanting to go into.

Now, I've had prayers answered before, but they've never been as if they were checked off of a list one by one, to the letter. I was blown away. 6 months ago that conversation would have intimidated me, ticked me off, put me on the defensive, stressed me out, and sent me off in a whirlwind of muck. But this time, I sat their quietly, hardly believing where the conversation was going and not all that upset over it. When it was over, I had some questions and concerns that we addressed, but on the whole I told Tammy that I agree with them - I think its time for someone new.

Not sure when the change will be made, but it will come and I'm okay with it. God has my back.

MY MESSED UP MELON
Many of you know that I have a messed up melon. But it's truly been an issue throughout my life, I believe. So, I've seen a doctor a couple of times and he's put me on Strattera. So far, I haven't noticed any major changes. I don't like the doctor much and will probably find someone else. I'm also not so sure about the medication - its a non-stimulant, and most treatments are stimulants. Like every other "move you through the system as fast as possible" doctors, all he needed to hear was that I had stopped drinking, thinking I had a problem and you ruled out me ever taking a stimulant. "You could easily become addicted." In the meantime, this junk he's put me on makes me tired, and my ever expanding waist line doesn't need any additional help keeping me sitting on my keister.

I'm going to get through the holiday and consider seeing someone else.

ALCOHOL
I stopped drinking in July. So far, haven't had anything to drink. I have an occasional NA beer (because I do like the taste) but that's it. I've thought about drinking a few times, but overall there's been no major problems in that area. Rachel and I went to her company's Christmas party a couple of weeks ago and everyone was drinking. I would have been right in there before - those scenarios were always impossible for me because its so hard for me to just be myself. But it wasn't so hard this time. It was a trip watching a few people get quite toasted. I laughed and joked and had a good time.

The thing is, the drinking problem isn't my problem to deal with. It wasn't my choice to stop. Everytime I made a choice on my own to stop I was right back there doing it again. It's like telling yourself "no chocolate." It'll never last - you're going to have chocolate. But this time, it wasn't my choice. God truly brought me to a point where he said, "You and I are going to deal with this." So in social scenarios, I really don't put any pressure on myself. I don't even think about not putting pressure on myself - it just happens. I truly turned that issue over to him and he has kept me strong. Without him, I would still be boozing it up on occasion.

I wish more things were like that - that I could turn more things over to him fully, like finances, diet and exercise, parenting, career, etc. I'm working on it, though.

So that's about it. Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, and I hope 2007 will be a blessed year for you all!

Rummy's Hands

2006-12-15T11:48:00.000-05:00

Okay, first of all, my blog isn't becoming a Video-only site, I've just been really busy lately w/ work and finals and family. I plan on writing more soon.

BUT, this was TOO funny not to share:

http://ebaumsworld.com/2006/11/rumsfeld-hands.html (I didn't embed the video because its a little too big and screws up my web page if I do that.)

Berlitz junior commcercial

2006-11-29T15:43:00.000-05:00


Hilarious commercial I saw today!

Marty from Biggest Loser KICKS BUTT!

2006-11-16T09:03:00.000-05:00

This dude AMAZES ME!!!!

Marty's THEN & NOW Video

News Headlines From The Year 2029

2006-11-11T14:31:00.000-05:00

Sent by an old Navy buddy of mine in Greece... pretty funny, but makes you go "hmmmmm!"

Ozone created by electric cars is now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities are still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.

The Spotted Owl plague is threatening the northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally stumps scientific world.

Couple petitions courts to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East ( formerly known as Iraq , Afghanistan , Syria and Lebanon ).

Iran still closed off; Physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica .

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study concludes that Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed that they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes the last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Associated Press: Gripping Journalism!!!

2006-11-10T14:38:00.000-05:00

You would think that the Associated Press would have better things to do then to summarize an episode of 'Grey's Anatomy'. There's nothing noteworthy here... it's simply a summary of the last episode... simply GRIPPING JOURNALISM!!!!

A grim session for 'Grey's Anatomy' - Yahoo! News

Fast Food Wars

2006-11-10T11:45:00.000-05:00

This avatar cracks me up... VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED:

Beware of the King!

My Messed Up Melon

2006-11-09T15:20:00.000-05:00

I've really realized this past week how crappy my mind works and how much trouble its gotten me into in the past. It's this horrible cycle that I go through every few years or so, but I'm to the point where I can't just throw my hands up and quit as I have in the past. Because of that, I have spent the last few weeks feeling trapped and like I’ve hit a brick wall.

Everything I've felt in the last few weeks are the exact same things I’ve felt in the past. I remember the absolute craziness and confusion I felt when I got myself thrown out of the Navy; it was so bad that I purposefully got myself dismissed. I was so confused and so depressed that the option to be disgraced was a more attractive alternative to me than just dealing with my mind. It’s how I felt when I quit a good job I had after the Navy at an investment firm in Atlanta, not having anything lined up and left Rachel and I struggling and scraping by for 2 months; the fear of the unknown was more attractive to me than figuring out how to pull myself together. It’s how I felt after we started a business in Memphis and, after a few months, I couldn’t make it work and began to panic – it was just too hard and my mind couldn’t sort through it. I found a way to offload that problem which meant we had to sell the market and move my family, which sunk us into serious debt which we are still fighting our way out of today.

I get into these situations where I can't think my way through it or work my way out of it. I can’t slow my brain down and look at each piece of the puzzle separately and then create a collective strategy. There's too much and my brain can't slow itself down. I stay constantly tired. I stay down and depressed.

Even now, it's why its so hard for me to pray unless I'm doing it aloud. It's also why most times if I'm talking to someone I begin to figure things out and I end up rambling (to them, I’m sure that’s how it seems) but I actually figure things out. My mouth just moves and stuff rolls out and I start putting pieces together. I used to do that with my wife when I would be trying to figure out how to program something. She would have no idea as to what I was talking about, but she would sit and listen and through that I would figure out how to do it. Left alone to my thoughts, never! Left alone to my thoughts I'm good for nothing. I can see now that it's why I always enjoyed drinking alone. I could slow down. I felt calmer, insightful and I could think about things one thing at a time.

My melon has just felt like complete mush lately and has gotten worse and worse. I’m going to school, my job is more demanding and there are a LOT of things on my plate right now, deadlines are ensuing, I have small kids and I have to find time for them, etc. Things have felt like they’re spinning out of control over the last month, only this time I can't quit.

Every time I quit something because I can't figure out how to get through whatever it is, it wipes the slate clean and I’m able to start over. Instead of dealing with the problem and moving beyond it, I just ditch it and go around it. It creates other problems always, but hey, I don’t have to deal with most of those right away. They come around much later and add to future confusion, pain and distress. But at that time, I’m able to just start over. Then I'm a hard charger, succeeding in my new endeavor until more clutter builds up in my mind and I can no longer sort through it, again. When that happens, its time to quit and start over and clear the slate once more. But, I just can't do that now, or at least can't do it as easily as I used to.

So I made the choice this morning to keep trying and to not let confusion win. I don’t like the idea of having to be on a medication. Problems run in my family and loved ones have to take medications, and it has always scared me (or I’ve felt “above” that.) But now that I’m able to look back and really see this crazy, vicious cycle, I can no longer ignore what the problem is. It’s my melon. So I’m going to go see a doctor Monday and get tested for Adult ADD, ADHD and/or depression. Whatever it is, I know I’ll be a better man if I can figure it out and get it under control. I’ll be a better husband, father, manager, friend, etc.

I’m posting this not because I’m proud that my noggin is messed up, but because I think too many of us guys think we’re weak if we need help, or we’re weak if we admit that we have problems. We don’t want to ask for help. We don’t want people to know that struggle with things for fear of judgment.

But the more I get the opportunity to be open and have others who are open with me I see that we are ALL screwed up in some way. Every single one of us has pain, fears and struggles. Some people suffer from depression, some from loneliness, and some from addiction, whether it be to porn, drugs or alcohol. Some have unhappy, loveless marriages. There are unfulfilling jobs, illnesses, death and grief - you name it. I see this in good, Christian men, and its just a fact and nothing to be ashamed of. It’s exactly why we need Christ. Without him to look to, I know my misery would be tenfold.

It helps to be open because people can judge if they want, but everyone hurts including grown men. And the best thing anyone can do is admit it, ask for help and look to others so they can move forward instead of always looking back.

Shame on Mayor Shirley Franklin (Atlanta)

2006-11-08T10:56:00.000-05:00

Mayor Shirley Franklin of Atlanta SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HERSELF! I heard the ad that she did along with (surprise, surprise) Andrew Young and Representative John Lewis promoting an African-American Democrat for Fulton County Commissioner. I have NEVER heard such a shameful, racist, misleading, fear-mongering tactic in the name of a vote in my life.

You can read an interesting article by Neal Boortz on this here. But here is an exerpt, INCLUDING the text from the shameful ad!

THE AD
"This is Congressman John Lewis."
"And I'm Mayor Shirley Franklin"
"And I'm Andy Young"

(John Lewis) "On November 7th we face the most dangerous situation we ever have. If you think fighting off dogs and water hoses in the sixties was bad, imagine if we sit idly by and let the right-wing Republicans take control of the Fulton County Commission."

(Shirley Franklin) "The efforts of Martin and Coretta King, Hosea Williams, Maynard Jackson and many others will be lost. That's why we must stand up and we must turn out the vote for the Democrats on Election Day."

(Andy Young) "And especially for John Eaves for Fulton County Commission Chairman. Unless you want them to turn back the clock on equal rights and human rights and economic opportunity for all of us, vote for John Eaves as Fulton County Chairman"

(Lewis) "Your very life may depend on it."

(John Eaves) "This message paid for by the committee to elect John Eaves."

NEAL BOORTZ' THOUGHTS
I'm not surprised that John Lewis made this ad. He's never been one to avoid a little race-baiting in a campaign. He rather loves playing the black victimization card. Andrew Young? No surprise there either. Young has a history of playing the race card in his political efforts. Young is just the type of bigot you would expect to tell black voters that Republicans would "turn back the clock on equal rights and human rights" if they get control of the commission. By the way --- a Republican has been in control of the commission for years now ... and thus far no blacks have been lynched. But Shirley Franklin? Now that's a disappointment. That's a huge disappointment.

And just why do Democrats like to resort to race-baiting advertisements at the last minute during a campaign. Because it works, that's why. Perhaps that's why you won't hear an apology from the mayor. John Eaves won by a wide margin.

I'm appalled - I actually liked Mayor Franklin prior to this - but now I'm just over her. And shameful John Eaves should be making an apology too... but don't expect that either.

The Priviledge to Vote

2006-11-07T08:21:00.000-05:00

I was standing in line this morning waiting to vote and was beginning to get a little annoyed with the lack of organization and the utter confusion going on with the Election coordinators and volunteers when it I was struck with a sudden urgency to just chill out and appreciate the lack of organization and the utter confusion.

People have died (and still do) to earn the same freedom that we in this country have. Right now our own soldiers and marines are dying so that others can obtain, and maintain, that same right in their own countries. Citizens in other nations have braved roadside bombs, suicide bombers and gun fire to place their vote and have their collective voices heard in their own country. This morning I stood in a nice community clubhouse sipping my coffee and looking at others waiting to place their vote, as well. Statistically speaking, its a good bet that at least 40% of them (if it weren't for where I live that number would probably be higher) were going to vote completely opposite from me, and probably believe different things than I. But we all stood peacefully and quietly waiting for our turn to insert a little yellow swipe card and make our selections via a very modern touch screen system. (Oh hanging chads... what ever happened to you.) We didn't have to dip our fingers in dye, we didn't have to wear kevlar vests and we didn't have wait in constant fear of being blown to bits. We all just had to be "a little put out", wait a little while in line, make quiet decisions about how the process could flow a little better or how the Election folks could be a little nicer. Relatively speaking it was nothing short of a blessing from God to be able to take part in the process.

Thank you, Lord!

Ousted Evangelist Says He's Guilty of 'Sexual Immorality'

2006-11-06T08:48:00.000-05:00

Ousted Evangelist Rev. Ted Haggard Tells Followers He's Guilty of 'Sexual Immorality'

Man, this is sad. Sad for multiple reasons...

First and foremost, it's sad to see someone who's spent their lives serving God fall.

Second, it's sad knowing the pain his family and friends are going through.

Third, it's sad for all Christians who are let down, feeling unsure about their faith, and doubting everything they've learned.

Finally, it's sad for any unbelievers who may have been looking to the Christian faith and now aren't sure if they should continue down that road as well as any unbelievers and/or critics who were NOT looking to the Christian faith and now feel further justified.

In all of these cases, it should be remembered that Rev. Haggard is a MAN. Men are sinful and men make mistakes - horrible, awful mistakes. Being a life long leader in the church doesn't change that; unfortunately, though, it makes a big, horrific wave when something like this comes to light among believers and unbelievers alike.

The real test of faith among Christians lies in their ability to forgive Haggard and still love and pray for him. It is also in their ability to not be discouraged from sharing their faith (hopefully in a kind, gentle and unobtrusive way.)

A reply to John Kerry from the Troops!

2006-11-02T08:39:00.000-05:00

It's the Great Pumpkin...

2006-10-28T15:19:00.001-04:00

...Charlie Brown!

Well, It's All Over

2006-10-25T19:27:00.000-04:00

Yup, it's done. A little humility, a couple of injections, some tugging and pulling, a few tears and VOILA, the vasectomy's over.

Truthfully, it wasn't fun but it wasn't that bad. A little uncomfortable now, but no big deal really.

Did I mention that I love my wife! :)

Vasectomy Time - Dear Lord, Help Me!

2006-10-23T11:03:00.000-04:00

Oh boy... only 52 hours and 45 minutes left until my Vasectomy. Someone has said to buy a bag of frozen peas for the healing process. I wish I could fast forward to this time next week... well, wish me luck!

UPDATE:
The doc's office just called to move my appointment up an hour. So now, I've only got 47 hours at this point!

UPDATE (Tuesday, Oct 24 at 9:50 AM):
29 hours to go!!!

Evolution of Dance

2006-10-10T16:39:00.000-04:00

I've probably shared this with some of you before, but I just watched it again and its just hilarious:

BTW, how bout Google dropping $1.65 Billion bucks for YouTube. Holy cow!

Prayer for the Right Attitude

2006-09-28T13:44:00.000-04:00

Dear Heavenly Father,

I'm bitter today. I try to live my life in a transparent fashion, not hiding things about myself whether it be financial, personal, etc. I mean I don't just wear things on my sleeve for the world to see, but I try to be honest with people and share my experiences if a conversation comes along that allows for it.

The problem is that when you live that way and people learn things about you, they judge you. Its not always an in-your-face judgment, but it comes in the things they say or how they look at you.

Recently I've had a situation that makes me want to close myself off - to shield parts of my life and my struggles from others. I want to be left alone with my family to address our finances in private, to grow in our faith in private, to work on our lives in private, so forth and so on. I want to shut out the outside world.

Furthermore, it seems like everyone is so caught up in their lives that no one has time to care about anyone else anymore. And if it comes to us, it seems like it becomes even more of a hurdle for people to care. I'm to the point where I'm looking at myself and my family and saying "What the heck is wrong with us? Are we too opinionated? Are we too forceful? Are we too boring? Are our kids screaming brats?"

I don't want to feel that way. First, I don't think the answer to any of those questions is "Yes." Second, the only person's opinion about me and my family that I should care about is yours!

Needless to say, I'm struggling. I'm feeling angry, and bitter, and full of hate and resentment. Those who think we're playing Christian would probably say, "see - pretend all you want!" I don't want to feel that way. I want to be happy with who we are, happy with the lives that we live and the things you've blessed us with. But I cannot do that on my own.

I'm asking you hold me up, to fill my soul, my heart and my mind and to push out the worldliness that is coursing through my veins right now. I know that you have a plan for us, and I have faith. Please bring calm, Lord.

In Christ's name I pray, Amen.

I Love My Wife

2006-09-22T11:09:00.000-04:00

I simply wanted to say that I LOVE MY WIFE. I can be such a jerk, and I'm really surprised she's hung with me this long. After a roller coaster of a ride the last few years, God has really been working in our lives in ways that are bringing us closer and closer together.

Just felt like saying it!

ABC News: Film Shows Youths Training to Fight for Jesus

2006-09-18T12:43:00.000-04:00

ABC News: Film Shows Youths Training to Fight for Jesus

This disturbs me (no, I haven't seen it yet) because the pastor running Jesus Camp sounds like a complete nut (much like the crazies from the Baptist church out of Missouri or Kansas who go to dead soldiers' funerals holding up signs like "God is Glad You're Dead"). These kinds of films often times can paint all of Christianity with the same brush. We all know there are extremists in all religions and we're supposed to remember that after a terrorist attack, but will liberal feminists like Lauren Sandler remember it when it comes to Christianity.

The part about some of the kids "worshipping" pictures of George W. Bush - KOOKY, yes, but its not Bush's fault (I'm sure many people will walk away from that film saying, "See!")

As far as being "Warriors for Christ", we're taught to be warriors by putting on the armor of truth, using His Word for a sword - and that's literal. It doesn't say anything about fighting like people in Palestine and Pakistan.

This also disturbs me because I think its a GOOD thing that "enrollment at Christian colleges is up 70 percent" and "sales of Christian music are up 300 percent" yet somehow I don't think this film will celebrate that. (Again, I still haven't seen the film.)

Lauren Sandler thinks the evangelical youth movement will have a negative impact on the country's future. Which evangelical youth movement? Inflexible on issues such as abortion and gay marriage? Why should they have to be flexible when people like Ms. Sandler are not flexible in regard to their beliefs on the same subjects?

Anyway... this stuff just ticks me off. My politics aren't has heavy-handed as they used to be, and I don't involve myself in them much anymore, but this just gets me going - and therefore I'll stop now while I'm a head! ;)

Steve Irwin Dead at 44

2006-09-05T15:01:00.000-04:00

I am so sad today. As most of the world learned yesterday, Steve Irwin (a.k.a. The Crocodile Hunter) was killed on Monday, September 4th, by a stingray off the coast of Australia. I watched a few tributes on Animal Planet about him last night, but it didn't hit me as hard as it has today. I'm just glum about it, as if I truly knew him. I guess after losing so many people last year (my father, my grandmother, a friend and my attorney) I realize now just how final it is for the people left behind.

His daughter, Bindi; his 2-year old son, Bob; his wife, Terri. I can't image my children (my son is the same age as his) and my wife being left behind. I'm not scared of dying because I know where I'll be going, but the thought of my children growing up without me rips my heart out. Steve Irwin was such a devoted family man, and he had such a zest for life that was infectious, and its gone for those who loves him most. His web site, www.crocodilehunter.com has been inaccessible most of the day due to the servers being overloaded with so much traffic.

Perhaps its silly to feel this way, but I hurt over it and I pray for his family. He really will be missed, no question.

Hiding Out

2006-08-30T23:05:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I've been busy. Work's been killing me. School's been killing me. I have very little energy left to sit down and write anything. I just wanted to drop in and let whoever is reading this (Hi, Carm) that I'm still alive. I'll get back on the blog horse here soon!

Dog Days of Summer

2006-07-26T16:04:00.000-04:00

Sorry for being so absent lately, just have a TON going on it seems. Work is CRAZY as I'm down a man in my department (sadly that was my choice - I had to let go of someone who I liked a lot as a person, just wasn't working professionally anymore) and have 2 people starting in 2 weeks, have mid-term exams this week, thinking about moving, finishing up some side projects and still dealing a little bit with not drinking. A LOT of stuff. The drinking has only been an issue a couple of times - it was mostly me wanting a beer and realizing that I shouldn't have one. Social situations are a little strange, but that's about it.

Rachel has been so great - I'm truly a blessed guy to have her. All of my friends have been very supportive as well, as has my family. So no complaints there - just humbled by the blessings.

So I'm blinking and realizing that school starts back in less than 2 weeks. Holy cow! Traffic will get worse on the commute to work, yet it will only get hotter as far as the weather is concerned. YEAH!!! :( One more bat of the eye and it will be freaking 2007. Where's the time going? Slow down, please! I found a gray chest hair the other day for crying out loud. A GRAY CHEST HAIR. What's next? Wait, I won't go there!

Anyway... just posting for the sake of posting. Need to get back to work. L8R!

My Confession

2006-07-13T16:33:00.000-04:00

Today I’ve reached a decision, although I’m not sure as of this moment how exactly I’m going to do it other than to pray to God each and every day that HE make it happen – otherwise, there’s just no way I’ll ever make it.

I’m an alcoholic. There’s simply no other answer. I’ve avoided the title for years. I denied the title to myself even though I nearly killed myself in not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 car wrecks that occurred as a direct result of my drinking between 1991 and 1996. I denied it even after I was sent (forced) to Alcohol Rehab while in the Navy in 1997. I denied it even though I was given a General Discharge from the Navy (not a Dishonorable Discharge, but a “boot” just the same) because I broke an agreement I made with them about drinking after completing rehab not even 2 weeks after being released from treatment. I denied it even though a mere 2 months after getting discharged from the Navy I got a DUI (that I barely even remember getting.) And even though I’ve seen the negative effects of my drinking at times since then, I’ve denied it. I’m close to denying it even now because I can’t conceive of living a life where I don’t have the “occasional” drink. But the truth always comes out. I’ve simply grown tired of arguing with myself.

I have an addictive personality. Once I realize that I like something - whether it be food, drink, an experience or a routine, I want more and more and I want to do it all the time. I mean, I REALLY have an addictive personality.

Since my DUI in 1997, I’ve managed to control my drinking. I typically don’t drink too much… just enough to “feel” it. When I do drink too much, it’s always when I’m out of town – for business or visiting friends. For that reason, I simply felt that I wasn’t an alcoholic – just forced to assume the role due to an overzealous Chief Petty Officer from the Navy. Were I to speak with that CPO today, I’d apologize for hating him and my Division Officer all of this time.

In June of 2005 I received a call that my dad had gone downhill (he was dying of cancer). Ironically, I had told God that I was done drinking earlier that day. A voice in my head told me enough was enough. I poured out my wine and my beer. My wife wept from what I believe was joy, because she worried that perhaps I did have a problem or that one day it would become more of a problem. Ordinarily I would have been drinking that beer that I poured out that day, and so by the time I received that phone call I would have been in no position to drive home and see my father – and to catch what were his last words to me before he became unable to speak the very next morning. He ultimately died a week later, and I was blessed enough to me with him. God gave me that moment. That was in June of 2005.

A month later we were filing for bankruptcy, and I was drinking again. Very subtly, but drinking just the same. I’ve continued to do so since then denying that I had a problem. I only let it get outrageous on the occasional trip out of town for business. My wife was never around. If she suspected that I had been drinking hard, I would be embarrassed and try to deny it. If I had no one to go out with while out of town, I’d drink in my hotel room. Always feeling guilty and always trying to be secretive about it. But God saw it all.

Now here I am. Over the last 2 months it’s been nagging at me. Everyone who knows me knows I drink. Its part of who I am. Wes knows when I come over that I want a beer. When I go to Orlando, Mike Savino knows we have to go get a drink. My coworkers know when I come in the next day (while in Orlando) that I was drinking the night before. Here at my office in Atlanta, everyone knows that I’m dull and boring at work, but bring on a company outing and I’m one heck of a fun guy.

I’ll never be a good testimony for Christ that way, will I?

Today I went to lunch with my wife and had a couple of beers. I then came home to work, and finished off a small bottle of bourbon that we had purchased for a marinade. I always hated bourbon, even though I’d drink it with coke in high school to be cool. But I have to say, after working on finishing it the last 3 days, I like bourbon a lot.

Rachel noticed how much I had drank of it last night. I felt very convicted. But I didn’t need her for that – I was already feeling that way. I had convinced myself and had told God that alcohol didn’t control me. I’ve used scripture I’ve read as of late to convince me that I was okay to do that because “I wasn’t obsessed with it.” But this week has been different. I’ve even read some scripture (simply by flipping open my bible) that’s told me that although there’s nothing to be eaten or drank that’s off limits, if something is telling me it’s wrong then it’s a sin, because I’m going against my own beliefs or convictions. God must have written that for me.

Recently I decided to fly out and see one of my best friends, Mike Manning, in San Diego. We were in Naples, Italy together. We played music and we partied hard. I was going to book the flight tomorrow. But today, as I sit here with a little bourbon on my breath, don’t know that I can do that. Being with my friend Mike means drinking. It always has. I’m not judging him at all – if alcohol doesn’t control you, then there’s nothing wrong with having a drink. But today, my eyes have been opened. It controls me – I can deny it all I want. The mere fact that, as I sit here writing this, I cannot conceive of a life where I don’t have a drink is proof enough. I can imagine not having a drink for a week, but not for a month. Not for a year. Not for the rest of my life.

I associate a drink with everything in my life – music, dining out, visiting friends, cooking out in the backyard, going to beach or vacation, business outings. You name it.

I’m scared like hell.

I’m scared like hell, but I have to face it. I’ve sat here and cried, then prayed. I can’t do it alone. God has to step in. Friends have to know of my choice so that they’ll respect my choice. My Christian brothers have to know so they can pray for me.

I’m writing this down so that I can’t escape it and so I cannot deny it anymore. I’m sending it to you, my friends and family, so that I can have it out there – so you’ll know. I hope you won’t judge me too harshly, think of me as weak or crazy, or pity me. This isn’t the point of writing this. I simply need to be honest with myself and you all. Mostly, I need to honor my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Run by F#rting

2006-07-03T14:07:00.000-04:00

Personally, I think the "emissions" are fake, but its still pretty funny.

I Love Jesus and French Fries

2006-07-03T11:39:00.000-04:00

Rachel sent me a link to this t-shirt.

Great shirt - should wear for our workouts! It could be my motto if you replace "french fries" with "beer".

The Difference Between Right and Wrong...

2006-06-29T14:33:00.000-04:00

From the "Vent" on the Atlanta Journal Constitution Website:

"The difference between right and wrong isn’t hard to see when you watch an illegal immigrant pay $8 for a cart full of groceries, walk out and get into a brand new Lincoln Navigator."

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Back to School I Go!

2006-06-23T15:57:00.000-04:00

Well, I've done it. I'm back in school... I just ordered my books for the first semester. Hopefully I can actually finish!!!

Class starts Monday... what have I done???

A Great Father's Day

2006-06-19T16:30:00.000-04:00

I had a GREAT Father's Day yesterday. The kids woke up and were in a good mood. We had breakfast and it went just smoothly. We went to church and the kids were GREAT. Afterwards, they both went down for their naps without incident. Then we went to White Water (a water park) and got in for FREE with the help of my cousin Wes' in-laws.

On that note, I'd like to say the following:

Thank you Wes, Jenna, Renee, Becky, Tommy, Briana, Cheyenne and Kayla... since Wes married Jenna, and since we moved back to Georgia, you guys have always made us feel like we were TRUE family - blood family. With my family being so far away and Rachel's scattered around as well, you guys have adopted us. You love our kids, you include us in family get togethers. I just wanted to say that Rachel and I truly appreciate it. We love all of you.

Thank you Rachel, Maryn and Dylan for a great day, and thanks to all for helping me have the best Father's day ever.

And to Dad, I know that every day is Father's day for you now. All my love forever.

Who is Luke Duke Anyway?

2006-06-14T21:41:00.000-04:00

I saw Tom Wopat, the guy who played Luke Duke in the original TV series, as a guest star on some new show coming on FOX. I said, "Huh, Luke Duke!"

Rachel was in the kitchen and replied, "Who's Luke Duke?"

"Luke Duke?" I said. "Tom Wopat - Luke Duke!" Not that I figured she'd know the name Tom Wopat, but Luke Duke... COME ON!

She stepped to where she could see the TV and said, "Oh, what... Dukes of Hazzard?"

"Uh - YEAH!"

"I didn't know his name on the show. I didn't know it was Duke. Wait, was it Bo and Luke?"

"Uh - YEAH!"

"Weren't they brothers?"

"Uh - NO!"

"Cousins?"

"Uh - YEAH!"

"One's name was Duke and one's name was Hazzard?"

"Uh - NO!!!!" I yelled! "Hazzard County GEORGIA!!!"

She laughed. How can anyone who lived in the 80's AND lived in Georgia not know those details! Then again, I was a dork in the 80's.

I love my wife.

No Need To Worry

2006-06-14T09:46:00.001-04:00

When Abraham Lincoln was on his way to Washington to be inaugurated, he spent some time in New York with Horace Greeley and told him an anecdote that was meant to be an answer to the question everybody was asking him: Are we really going to have civil war?

In his circuit-riding days, Lincoln and his companions, riding to the next session of court, had crossed many rivers. But the Fox River was still ahead of them; and they said one to another, "If these streams gives us so much trouble, how shall we get over the Fox River?"

When darkness fell, they stopped for the night at a log tavern, where they fell in with the Methodist presiding elder of the district, who rode through the country in all kinds of weather and knew all about the Fox River. They gathered around him and asked him about the present state of the river.

"Oh, yes," replied the circuit rider, "I know all the Fox River. I have crossed it often and understand it well. But I have one fixed rule with regard to the Fox River—I never cross it till I reach it."

From 1001 Great Stories and Quotes by R. Kent Hughes

Not the Best Dad

2006-06-12T22:47:00.000-04:00

Feeling like I'm not necessarily the best father in the world tonight. Every Monday my wife has a bible study class, so she's pretty much out the door as soon as I get home (around 6:30 PM) and is gone the whole evening. I'm glad she's going, so I've got no complaints there. I only have a couple of hours before the kids go to bed. But sometimes I find myself just trying to get the kids through their bath and into their bed... waiting for "my" time.

Maybe its not a big deal... but I feel like crap. I love my bambinos. They can keep you on your toes and they can be quite frustrating, but I do love them so much. Wish I had the "perfect patience." Sometimes I simply don't. Then once I put them to bed and all but run out of the room, I get hit with feelings of guilt.

Oh well... I'll just try again tomorrow (and next Monday.)

Pacing the Cage

2006-06-09T14:41:00.000-04:00

Ever feel like this...

"Sunset is an angel weeping
Holding out a bloody sword
No matter how I squint I cannot
Make out what it’s pointing toward
Sometimes you feel like you’ve lived too long
Days drip slowly on the page
And you catch yourself
Pacing the cage

I’ve proven who I am so many times
The magnetic strip’s worn thin
And each time I was someone else
And everyone was taken in
Powers chatter in high places
Stir up eddies in the dust of rage
Set me to pacing the cage

I never knew what you all wanted
So I gave you everything
All that I could pillage
All the spells that I could sing
It’s as if the thing were written
In the constitution of the age
Sooner or later you’ll wind up
Pacing the cage

Sometimes the best map will not guide you
You can’t see what’s round the bend
Sometimes the road leads through dark places
Sometimes the darkness is your friend
Today these eyes scan bleached-out land
For the coming of the outbound stage
Pacing the cage"

Lyrics to Jimmy Buffett's Pacing the Cage

I know I do! Then God eventually pulls me out! Strange though... sometimes its oddly a cool place to camp out for a while.

My Friend, Capt Manning

2006-06-05T23:27:00.000-04:00

Felt like posting this UNFLATTERING picture of my best bud Mike Manning from 1999:

Some other pictures w/ my buddy Mike:
Our band Wedgie in Naples, Italy (1995 - 96)
Oktoberfest - Munich, Germany (1996)
Bologna, Italy (1996)
Misc pics from Naples, Italy (1995 - 96)
Key West (1997)

Remembering Dad

2006-06-03T08:34:00.000-04:00

One year ago today, Dad passed away. He left the world at 1:43 AM. I was holding his hand. I miss him so much, but know he's in a better place.

I love you, Dad.

Monk-E-Mail and Online Dating

2006-06-01T16:24:00.000-04:00

One of my co-workers, Martha, has a guy flying down from NY next weekend to spend time with. Nothing serious, but she's hoping (I guess.) Of course, I'm thinking this guy could be some dirty, disgusting dude and I'm concerned for her. So, I decide to mess with her and send her this email from "Friend in NY". FYI, you must have flash.

Email 1

She's suddenly calling girlfriends talking about how cute he is to send that. So I say, GOOD TIMES. I send another from "Friend in NY."

Email 2

Now a few minutes later I hear (in that computer voice) "Ed, I will bring my high heels, but I think you would look much better in my bikini." Uh-oh - she's actually sending this to HIM. He's not going to know what the heck she's talking about. This is just too good. So I then send THIS:

Email 3

Now she's sitting at her desk giggling and forwarding it to her friends. I begin feeling bad that perhaps this has gotten a touch out of hand... and this guy in NY, dirty, disgusting or otherwise, is now a poor helpless victim getting back emails from some monkey talking about something he has no idea about. He's quite possibly becoming a bit concerned about the mental stability of his soon-to-be weekend date. So I call it a day with this:

Email 4

Then I sit and wait... I hear the email playing on her computer, she looks at me, and suddenly its the funniest thing in the world. She's freaking out about the one she sent to the guy about wearing her bikini.

It just doesn't get any better than that!

And by the way... Would you believe that this silly little monkey business is provided by CareerBuilder.com. So let me get this straight... they want to help you get INTO a job and then help you get OUT of a job by putting together this complete, waste-of-your-time, silly-but-fun web page which will distract you from your work all day?

BTW, I'm on my break while typing this! Gotta go!

What I've Learned in My 32 Years

2006-05-31T10:07:00.000-04:00

Today is my birthday. I am 32 years old. Needless to say I have a lot still to learn, but there's definitely a lot that I've already learned in my years. In truth, I could probably have titled this "What I've Learned in the Last 3 Years" because that's closer to reality.

In the last 3 years I basically sold/lost 2 businesses painfully, went bankrupt, moved 3 times to 3 different states, saw the birth of my daughter, saw the birth of my son 11 months later, came close to divorce, lost my grandmother, lost my father (a year ago this coming June 3rd,) lost a friend, struggled to find my way in my job, went through a change of ownership at my job, struggled with questions of faith and landed on the other side in tact.

I'll spare you the painful details of each event or transition, but there are 3 of these things that have taught me the most.

The first would be the birth of my kids. I could go on and on here about what that's taught me, but many of you who have kids probably already know what I'm talking about. And those of you who do not, you will one day. No point in trying to prepare you for it now, because you'll never be fully prepared. The ONLY thing you should be prepared to do is bob and weave, stick it out, never run, always persist, and just love.

The next would be the loss of my father, Rex L. White, Jr. He had leukemia and battled it for 10 months before eventually succumbing to it. I had moved from TN, where he lived, to FL a month before he was diagnosed, and financially I couldn't do much to help him and couldn't travel home to see him as much as I would have liked. The times I did make it home, I watched him go from being strong and optimistic to being scared to death and crying. It was gut-wrenching. I adored my father. I learned more from him than any one man in the world. The interesting thing was that most of the lessons were simply learned from witnessing his mistakes in life and his candor regarding those mistakes and their consequences in the latter years of his life. Additionally, I watched a man who had serious religious issues become saved and leave this world peacefully, knowing where he was headed. I was blessed to have had the opportunity to be with him in the last week of his life, to ensure that his wishes were carried out, and ultimately to watch him leave this world, just he and I alone in the room together, as I held his hand and spoke softly to him, saying it was okay for him to leave. I have never felt the presence of God before that week and more specifically, before that moment in time.

Following that came the 3rd thing and arguably the most important - my rebirth as a Christian. The pain and hurt I felt over the loss of my father, friend and namesake led me to so many questions. Through the help of my wife, we found what I believe is the greatest church in the world. Over the next few months I discovered the Truth and listened while so many myths and misunderstandings that I had about Christ and Christianity were dispelled. I learned how absolutely wonderful and freeing it was to be saved, rather than oppressing and condemning, which is what I thought previously. The freedom in knowing that I'm not perfect and never will be, but yet I'm loved by God and I'm saved through the sacrifice of His son Jesus. I used to think that if I curse, drink a beer, watch a movie, drive a nice car, enjoy and experience the world on any "human" level whatsoever, I wouldn't get into heaven. I now know that I can do all of those things and still qualify because of what I believe. That might sound strange to some of you, but that is simply what I thought being a Christian was about - about all the things you couldn't do. About bondage, not freedom.

God knows everything I'll ever do wrong, and yet because I've accepted Christ into my heart, he wants me just the same. If you don't know what that's like, you should try it.

From everything I've learned, the most valuable lesson of all for me was a hard pill to swallow - that I control NOTHING. No matter what I did, I couldn't stop my father from dying. That no matter what I did, I couldn't save my businesses. I couldn't get myself out of bankruptcy. I couldn't keep bad things from happening, though I tried and tried. The pain that comes when you put everything in your life on your own shoulders and fail over and over again. The guilt. The sadness.

God showed me that he was in charge, and that I must put my trust in Him. I still don't always do that, but I'm learning. I don't stress like I once did. I don't lose my temper as easily as I once did. I don't internalize so many things. Doesn't mean I don't get mad at all or get crazy from time to time. But hey, that's part of being human. I have to remind myself that its not my job to worry - put those things on God, because he's the one that can handle it. Have faith that he will take care of me, the same way he did for my father. You see, my father, had he survived leukemia, I believe would have eventually turned away and possibly went back to old habits. It doesn't necessarily mean that he would have no longer been saved, for I believe that that is almost impossible if you still have the truth in your heart. But who knows - perhaps it would have happened - my dad was a complex individual at times. Yet he was a good man with a good heart, and so by taking his life, he left my father no choice. He deemed him worthy of having a seat with Him in heaven and wouldn't accept anything less in my dad's case. He's in heaven, and I never thought that would ever be the case once upon a time. The Lord simply said "You shall have a seat with me in heaven, no excuses." And now I know where dad is at and I know I'll see him one day.

I don't control anything. Of course I have to "try", but I also must have faith that ultimately, good or bad, its God's will and God's will is perfect, even if I don't understand.

Today I'm thankful for my life. Thankful of where I've come from and the parents and people I was blessed to have in my life. I'm thankful for my wife, who I love desperately and couldn't possibly do without. My kids, it never ceases to amaze just how much God has blessed my life with those two. My job, its not always the greatest, but I have no confusion about who brought it to me and who helps me keep it. I'm also pretty thankful for Jay Mohr's web site and blog - HILARIOUS!

In closing, I'm a very thankful and humble person today. And to stay in theme - Thanks for reading!

God Bless,
Rex L. White III

Enterprise Rent-A-Car Likes You to be in Debt!

2006-03-09T21:39:00.000-05:00

I don't have a credit card. We cut them up. Why, you might ask? We follow a guy by the name of Dave Ramsey who is anti-debt. I recommend checking it out!

Anyway, Rachel and I made the decision to work Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and part of it was to get rid of our credit cards.

We have a checking account and a Visa debit card. I've reserved hotel rooms, purchased flights, bought items online, and even rented cars before all using a debit card. Virtually anyone who takes credit cards takes debit cards. It has many, if not all, of the priviledges and protections by Visa and MasterCard that actual credit cards have. The only difference I've ever noticed is that at Budget Rent A Car takes an extra $150 as a deposit, but credits your account once you return the car.

So a couple days ago I needed to drive down to Orlando to deliver a server to my corporate office. Flights were expensive under such short notice, so I decided to rent a car - and to try Enterpise for the first time in a while.

I logged on to their site, chose my car, entered my DEBIT card info and voila - my reservation was made. On the day I was to leave, I called them to "Pick me up".

Once there, I sat down with one of the guys (nice guy - should have been nicer back to him, I'm sure) and he asked for my license and credit card. I slid my license and DEBIT card over to him.

He stared at the debit card and asked if I had a credit card, to which I said no. He said he'd have to check with his manager. After doing so, he said he'd need a utility bill as well as a completed form asking for references, insurance and employement info, etc. I told him that I didn't carry a utility bill around with me in my pocket. He asked me if I could get online and print out a page from one of the utility companies confirming my address. Which I did.

Now, this may seem like it was all moving along smoothly, but it really wasn't. This threw them for a loop and they were back and forth about how to handle it. Not to mention, there were other people in the office who were overhearing our conversation - it was all quite embarrassing. I felt like some bum off the street - all because I didn't have a credit card.

As I filled out names of references, my employment info, address, insurance information, etc., he was apologizing for the inconvenience and trying to make "nice." I wasn't doing a good job of making "nice" back at him. I said to him, "I have a checking account that actually has real money in it, and a bank who checked my credit and deemed me trustworthy enough to have one, and that's not good enough for you guys. You'd rather me have a credit card and to be in debt as a result - that makes you feel better."

He explained that credit card companies go through several verifications as to your credit, employment, etc., and that's why they like that.

He called my insurance company to verify my policy and to find out if it covered me in rental cars. Now, I understand this and think its actually smart - however, I've NEVER had someone verify my insurance before. If I had a credit card, these guys would have handed me the keys as if I were a king. "He has a credit card... ooooh! He must have good insurance too, and he must have a good job, and he must live where he says he lives and have good friends who would give him a good reference, therefore, no need to check all of those things. But YOU... you DEBIT CARD user - you are not to be trusted!" Budget Rent A Car never checked that stuff. I felt "valued" there. Enterprise made me feel "under-priviledged" and "suspect."

I felt 2 feet tall (sorry to any little people who were just offended by that comment.) I shouldn't have let it all bother me - Enterprise's opinion of me shouldn't matter; only God's and my family's. But, it ticked me off pretty good.

Finally they went through their checks and sent me on my way. And of course they took an extra $150 as a deposit, too. That doesn't bother me that bad - I can understand that. Still, I couldn't get out of there fast enough. But there was one more "fun" thing left - they put drive out tags on the car, and I got a ticket while in Orlando because of it. They of course will now be taking care of it, but I'll have to pay the ticket and they'll reimburse me - after it runs through the chain-of-command, of course.

Bottom line is, if a debit card isn't good enough, then I don't need to do business with you. Enterprise will not get another dime from me.

BTW, same deal with Blockbuster Video. To sign up, you have to have a credit card on file - no debit card is allowed. So, I drove across the road and got a membership card at Hollywood Video without so much as a funny look. So, stay way from Blockbuster Video and instead try Hollywood Video, as they are "debit-friendly", not "debt-friendly".

ER Episode - To Abort or Not to Abort

2006-01-05T22:58:00.001-05:00

I'm so disgusted. One of my favorite shows took on the issue of abortion tonight and although I'd like to say that they presented a fair & balanced view on the issue, that is far from what happened.

I love ER. Each new season I say to my wife, "I could care less about watching ER anymore." But each season I find that I'm wrong - it's still a good show with good characters.

Tonight I watched a 15 year old girl who became pregnant after being raped decided at first to keep her baby (which is what her Christian parents told her to do.) The girl was scared to decide on anything else for fear she would be a sinner.

The attending doctor, Neela, (someone of Indian-descent) was trying to give her options. She didn't understand why she was going to keep it - or why she was letting her parents tell her what to do. She even got into it with her superior, Luca, because he was telling her to just "let it go." She told Luca that she wanted to consult with another doctor... someone who "wasn't Catholic."

Luca sent her on her way, taking over care of the patient. He then went in to talk to the girl, obviously having 2nd thoughts, and suggested a device that can be put into the cervix which will absorb water, widen the cervix and allow for a miscarriage.

So sad... another attack on Christian beliefs. You may think that I'm blowing things out of proportion - I was quite sympathetic to the girl's situation. They did make for a good subject, with a controversal outcome. But why does it always have to come down to being a Christian and that what we believe is wrong.

I'm not trying to throw stones... but a belief is a belief. This doctor didn't respect the decisions of the parents.

It's a tough call really... I do understand it to a point. It just frustrates me.

Oh well... it's Hollywood.

Thus Begins my Blog...

2005-11-19T14:27:00.000-05:00

OK, here I go...

I complain that I don't have time to get my work done, that I don't have enough time to spend with my family, that I don't have enough time to read, that I don't have enough time to do anything, but then I go and start a blog.

Well, for starters, no one get their hopes up that I'll ever write anything here - time will tell. I never seem to finish anything that I start, anyway. Why break the trend now. But who knows. Perhaps I'll manage to get one posted every 2 or 3 months. I'm sure I'll be the only one reading them anyway!

I had a web site before where I posted my thoughts and experiences, but that faded away. Then we had a web site for our 2 kids where we did a decent job of updating it for my daughter, Maryn, until she was about a year old. Then Dylan came along. We started one for him, but never updated it past his birth, basically.

So perhaps I'll post some fun pictures of them here from time to time. Just you hang on the edge of your seat and see!

One of the reasons I wanted to start a blog is because it's been a tough year for our family. I lost my grandmother in March due to cancer, my father in June due to leukemia, and then a friend of ours, Rob Treadwell, earlier this month to Pulmonary Fibrosis. I feel the need to vent from time to time, even if its to no one. Whether anyone ever reads it is really besides the point! :)

So, we'll see how this goes. Stay tuned!